Craven A

Now gather round you fellows and if you'll be still
I'll tell you of a bastard born at Bellevue Hill,
Born at Boswell Hill, but raised in Camberwell,
And the first three words he uttered were
"Bloody Fucking Hell

Craven A, never heard of fornication,
Craven A, never has wet dreams,
Craven A, quite content with masturbation,
Fooling with his foreskin in the school latrines.

When he went to Geelong Grammar there was much ado,
He buggared all the masters and the prefects too,
They finally expelled him, so the records say,
For tossing off the Duke of York on Founder's Day.

Craven A, never heard of fornication,
Craven A, never has wet dreams,
Craven A, quite content with masturbation,
Fooling with his foreskin in the school latrines.

His entrance to University was quite grotesque
He went and laid his penis on his tutor's desk,
Said his tutor "If it falls of at a later date
Please inform me and I'll use it as a paper weight!"

Craven A, never heard of fornication,
Craven A, never has wet dreams,
Craven A, quite content with masturbation,
Fooling with his foreskin in the school latrines.

While rowing for the Varsity on boat race day
He lost his oar and masturbated all the way
They won by half a length but were disqualify
For rogering the women on the Middlesex side.

Craven A, never heard of fornication,
Craven A, never has wet dreams,
Craven A, quite content with masturbation,
Fooling with his foreskin in the school latrines.

The landlady's daughter, Millie, was as nice as can be,
She always brought her cunt up with a cup of tea,
She'd been through her so often that the courts declare
Her vagina constitutes a legal thoroughfare.

Craven A, never heard of fornication,
Craven A, now he has wet dreams,
Craven A, not content with masturbation,
Gets his urges as regular as you and me